My Life
What is certain in life is that it's full of uncertainties. So I am gonna hide under His Wings. I don't wanna be found anywhere else.

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

tonsillitis

Went to see doc again, diagnosed as having tonsillitis. Giving me stronger antibiotics.... fever still persists... sigh

tse horng blogged at 1:17 AM



Sunday, May 29, 2005

Ulcers in throat

Ouch! That's my silence cry everytime I swallow, whether it is my saliva or drinks.

2 big ulcers strategically placed to torture me. The infection is so bad that I have (still having) fever up to 39.3oC. Eating is no long fun or nice. I only have porridge and bean curd. They are soft enough. And I am eating less then half my usual. The last time I had this was when I was in JC, when I was facing great stress too. Like now.... I suppose I had myself to blame too. When I had sore throat, I still pushed myself to teach and talk.... Lesson learnt, don't be gungho.

God, please heal me.

tse horng blogged at 11:41 PM



Friday, May 27, 2005

National Achiever Congress vs Aldersgate Lecture

Was given a ticket by school to attend the NAC. It is supposed to be quote expensive., more than $200 to hear 2 full days of talk on how to achieve blah blah... Today is the first day and the first speaker is lousy. He is supposed to be a motvational speaker, but he claimed he is a inspirational speaker, whatever, he din motivate me. Perhaps he only motivated me to go out and take a walk around. The whole time, we was talking about values determine our aspiration and how to identify our values. And the how are so obvious. The audiences were adult and grown up. The should have known all these. And the other theme was "Don't let ppl or lie stop from reaching your vision" and then he quoted some success stories, including himself. That we all can reach our vision, no matter what that could be. It could be the rich or happily married or even a top drug lord (my own inclusion)! Why would ppl want to pay so much to hear something so obvious?! He din teach how to re-align vision or how to reach the vision.

I think whoever struggling to know their values could simply see a counsellor, which cost $50 per session!! And you get to discuss the 'how' to achive too!

At night, I attended the Aldersgate lecture by Dr William Abraham on "Faith and Personal Experience of God". How constrast it is! Free of Charge and it touches the most important topic, God and you. Christianity is not just about knowing a set of doctrine or teaching but also personal encounter with God. The Holy Spirit in us, tells us that we are indeed God's child. That assurance is real and possible. God at times, allows us to go into 'wilderness' (where God seem to be silent or nonexistant) so that we can have a deeper experience of Him after that. John Wesley once, in his journal, wrote about such stage where he even doubt his own salvation and status as Christian. But the ultimate aim, is to know and experience God. I am blessed by the talk. It was well-balanced with good doctrine and good stories and analogies to help understand difficult concepts.

tse horng blogged at 5:53 AM



Monday, May 23, 2005




On thomas the train at tanglin mall

tse horng blogged at 3:18 AM







feeding fish with new friend, dorathy

tse horng blogged at 3:18 AM







hey buddy, which way to migrate?

tse horng blogged at 3:17 AM







Sayang doggy

tse horng blogged at 3:17 AM







Karis getting ready to throw

tse horng blogged at 3:15 AM







Karis having foam party...

tse horng blogged at 3:15 AM







Hanern and friend Lucas- the bugs catchers, under the guidance of aunty Meiling

tse horng blogged at 3:14 AM




Picnic at Botanical Garden

It has been a long time since I last had picnic. Thanks to our cell group (PCM), we had pinic today at Botanical Garden. I think everyone enjoyed it, told it was hot, at 1 pm!! Still, thank God that He gave us sunny day and not raining day. All the children, Hanern, Karis, Lucas, Linus, Ruth, Ruben, Owen, Sarah, Emma, Dorathy, had a smashing good time. Xiaomin and Mark jiuned us for the first time too. It was my first time meeting Emma, the latest member of the group, just a few months old. She smiled to me... haha. :-) There were enough food too! God provides through people.

The last time the group met at Botanical garden was a long time ago, it was then our 7th year as a group. I still remember. In 2 years time, we will celebrate our 20th Anniversary!.. That is a long time for a group to stick together. We saw each others growth; physically (waist), chronogically and socially. Not all the people who were at the first Botanical Garden outing are with us today. They have either moved to another church or not attending church. I actually have no idea. That's the sad and perhaps inevitable part about growing up. As we pursue different interests and paths, we drift and sometime we even forget. Will the next outing at Botanical Garden see the same people? I pray it will be same and more. 18 years together is no easy feat. God's grace sustained us. By His mercy, may we have another 18 years. By then, the children will not be rushing up and down catching ants and insects or play bubbles. They will probably be talking about NS, studies or jobs.

I am thankful, that I have a group of friends who shared the path of spiritual walk. Not everyone is so blessed. :-) Never good in conversation, but I am appreciative of what God has given.

From Church growth movement perspective, we are a 'failure' After so many years, still 1 group only. But, to me, we succeeded in being faithful to God and to each other. In this world of so many distractions, we have kept our faith to each other.

Ok.. look at some of the fotos.

Oh... if you dun belong to a cell group, you are missing a important part of spiritual growth... get one now.

My children enjoyed it ... very much. Karis was walking up and down the slope either following the ball or someone's dog. Hanern caught his first ant!! They just refuse to sit down... so I din had much chance to sit down too. haha

tse horng blogged at 2:38 AM




Reflecting on Vesak Day

Vesak Day is to commerate the birth, enlightenment and nirvana of Buddha. Indian Prince, Siddhartha Gautama, then in seeking to understand what is suffering about set off a journey that lead to what is known as Buddhism. I think Vesak Day reminds us that in each of us, there is this deep need to know the meaning of life. There is the philosophical side of us that need to understand our place in this Universe. Is live worth living with so much suffering?

For Prince Siddhartha Gautama, his Hindu influence led him to conclude that suffering had to do with craving that led to samsara, the repeated cycle of life and death. To end suffering, is to get our of this cycle and to end this cycle is to stop all craving. That's the path of salvation. What is at Nirvana then? The earlier understanding was the being of nothingness. I have read somewhere that nirvana was later understood as a place of pure happiness.

What is admirable is his search to understand the world and to offer help to the world. There is a need for all of us to understand the meaning of life so that we do not live meaninglessly or purposefully. In fact Vesak Day reminds us that universally, we are not here by chance. This world is not here by chance. If it was, then meaning is inexistant. Meaning is no longer an issue.

Can contextualised truth be universal truth? One can't help but notice that Buddhism teaching is very much modified Brahim's teaching. His modification of what he has learnt was recieved by many. Is that universal truth or just integrating what he had learnt? Is it Revelation?

What if there is actual Revelation? While Buddha attempted to point the way to end suffering, 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ came and told the people that He is the Way. His was a revelation-based prophecy and not discovery journey. No religious founder had siad that, except Him. That's why He was hated by the people then. Isn't Truth always hated by falsehood?

Prince Siddhartha Gautama gave up comfort to find the Truth and met on contextualised teaching. We have the advantage of receiving the revealed Truth and having the Truth resides in us. Let's not live life meaninglessly then.

tse horng blogged at 2:08 AM



Friday, May 20, 2005

Phew...

I have finally gotten the air-tickets for the Exchange. At least that is settled. Was worried whether this trip gonna be postponed or cancelled. After so much prep, I won't want any disruption. The good thing is my counterpart over there has been a fantastic help. God provides, Jehovah Jireh!

And a few hours later, WSI will be completed too. Not that I don't enjoy it but no matter how, certain level of stress is there, even the team of people who are working on it are trust-worthy. You can't run away for being officially answerable. But, I will see less of the alumni after this week.. I think I will feel the emptiness next week when they starts school. No more them coming and talking. Wish I had more time to chat, but work work work. My CC (Cool's Cubicle) will cease being the WSI Command Center. I am gonna miss the action.

And then there is this time management workshop for Sec 1 under School Family Education. At least the first session has kicked off.

One more week and then it will be June vacation. I really look forward to the break. It has been very tiring. I haven't fully recovered from my cough and sore throat.

Thank God for week 9 of Term 2.

tse horng blogged at 5:17 AM



Monday, May 16, 2005




Young artist at work

tse horng blogged at 5:23 AM







Trying to bring fever down.... weeks ago. Thank God it is over!

tse horng blogged at 5:22 AM







Karis watering cactus.

tse horng blogged at 5:21 AM



Saturday, May 14, 2005

more on WSI

Today the Principal came to my cubicle to talk to me. I am not used to reversing the sitting arrangement. Me behind the desk and he infront. Anyway, he is very happy about how WSI is going on though he is not saying it explicitly. So... wel done alumni.

It is interesting how a few people and sitting around thinking of ideas can result in the current flow of events.

But come to think of it, isn't Christianity started with 1 Man and 12, rather 11, disciples? Of course, for Christianity, it was built on the blood of Christ and the many great disciples.

tse horng blogged at 3:55 AM







Mr greatgrandma feeding me at the balcony

tse horng blogged at 3:54 AM



Thursday, May 12, 2005

Daily Verse: John 8:12 (Picture in LOTR)

"I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."

Someone left a copy of the Warcraft on my table. The cover pic reminds me of Orcs in LOTR. In one part when members of the fellowship of the ring had to walk through the tunnel, it was pitch dark. Gandalf used his staff to light the way. Without the light, it was impossible for the 9 of them to move forward.

The world is a dark place. Sometime just because Singapore is quite a protected country, we tend to forget the world is a dark place. Child prostitution, drugs, slavery, persecution, secret societies, addiction to gambling etc. Or for someone who suffer from depression or illness, the world is a dark dark place. But alas, there is a real comfort for us.

How blessed it is to have the Light in our life! We are not travelling in darkness and not knowing where we are. God is indeed our light and we can have that assurance.

Lord, thank you that I am not in the dark even if darkness surrounds me. Amen

tse horng blogged at 2:17 PM



Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Birth, Aging, Sickness, Death

Celebrating Birthday is to celebrate the person. Henri Nouwen said that before. How true it is. The reason why we celebrate someone's birthday is because we are glad that the person was born years ago.

A story was told that in China, a guest gave a present to a pair of new parents celebrating their child first month a scroll. When they open it up, it wrote Birth, Aging, Sickness, Death.

The new parents were offended and asked the guest how could he wrote such inauspicious words. The man explained it is blessed to be born and then to age and only when at old age a person get sick and die. That's a normal life cycle and it is a good thing.

Today, a good friend of mine, on her birthday, visited another of my friend in hospital. The news is no good as this friend has to go for another operation. It is depressing. I think the birthday girl did a kind act in visiting her. It some how reminds me again that life is indeed about living the best for God wherever we are. Moses, taking on as a Psalmist, reminded us to count our days so that we can be wise. The wise man told us that it is better to be in the house of mourning than in our house of laughter. Indeed, the impending death for each of us should remind us that we shall meet our Creator one day. How are we going to account for the precious life given?

I don't about you, I know I am still learning to make each days His. It will be frightening if that thought has not occured to you.

"Better to go to the house of mourning, Than to go to the house of feasting, For that is the end of all men; And the living will take it to heart. " Ec 7:2

"So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom. " Psalm 90:12

tse horng blogged at 4:05 PM




MC

I was on MC Monday, due to sore throat and fever. Still went to school mainly because I need as much time with 4A as possible. Need to speed up so that I can complete the syllabus earlier. This will give me time to revise the harder topics with them.

4A worries me... honestly. God, pls help them to be able to pick up concepts faster and work harder. There a few who are really hardworking.. so at least some comfort.

Anyway, my voice was gone 60% after teaching 4A. Over strained it.

Hopefully, I will gain it back soon. Can't wait to use it to teach again.

Today, my daughter call me pa pa over the phone! So sweet .... haha.

tse horng blogged at 3:41 AM



Sunday, May 08, 2005

ZOO..

We went to Zoo yesterday despite my onset of sore throat. In fact when back home, I had fever.

We promised our son we will go to Zoo once he is well from his cough. He is excited, as expected. He will name all the animals and even correct me when I am 'wrong'. And now he wants to take picture with all the animals. He will move infront and pose, and ask his personal cameraman (me) to take for him. "Take me and horse" then it will be donkey, white horse, lion etc.. At one part, while posing with a horse, the horse suddenly let out a loud sound.. all of us jumped.. haha.

My daughter of course enjoyed immitating the sound of the animals.

Thank God for the weekend!

tse horng blogged at 2:54 PM



Saturday, May 07, 2005

Alumni

The Principal praised the alumni today! I am glad he did. Sometime, we need to have an indication if things are moving in the right direction. Yet to convey this to them cos my Friday is usually very packed and after lessons is rushing to meeting and today the launch of ishare - a portal thingy.

Found out more about weather in Melbourne in the month of June. Still thinking if I should bring my family along. Pls pray along with me to decide wisely. Oh.. I have been tasked to organised an exchange programme with a secondary school over there. We had hosted them 3 years ago. It is time to close the loop. In one sense, I just can't wait to close it. Then I dun have to keep having it at one part of my mind. Need to made way for more things.

A bit of sore throat - hope it is not my turn to get sick...

I am thankful for the week, it was simple and straight forward. Got 2 more counselling cases.

One teacher joked about the need to see me for counselling. I told her I am facing the problem of needing someone to unload the negative emotions I hear during counselling too. Haha. But some teachers can't keep things confidential.. so can't tell them too much. :P

tse horng blogged at 3:56 AM



Friday, May 06, 2005

Daily Verse: Philippians 2:4 (Interest - mine or others)

"And look out for one another's interests, not just for your own. "

This verse is never easy to follow. Had it been easy, Paul would not have to cite our Lord as the example for us to follow. Throughout the records in Old Testament, Paul did not cite any of the ancient saints for us to follow but Christ. Because He showed us the way to treat each other.

I am faceing a difficult situation. A fellow Christian whom I know is talented in certain areas but has a temper that swings. I could do two things. I can avoid conflict and perhaps the risk of hurting our relationship by pushing the issue aside. And then I will just use avoidance so that I will minimise conflict. But it will not be acting in this person's interest but my own interest. I can pray and ask God to give me wisdom and love and for the person heart to be recpetive to constructive concern. And then talk to the person honestly, as a family member to another. This will be for the person's interest. Of course, the risk of a temper flare is there still there. No risk no reward!

I hate confronting people but the calling is clear.

Lord, give me love and wisdom when seeking out others' interests. Amen

tse horng blogged at 2:55 AM



Thursday, May 05, 2005

WSI

The first open to public WSI round.. whatever the official name but I enjoyed it..

My first thot is wow.. these people are brave. I really admire their gut! I doubt I will ever be brave enough to do it. It was a good time! Too bad I got so many other tasks to complete that i can't stay throughout. And... some of those guys can really generate scream!

Glad to see a number of alumni.... good old days...

tse horng blogged at 1:40 AM



Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Daily Verse: Proverbs 11:14

"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

Making decision is never easy. But wrong decision is even harder to reverse or rectify. The wise man advise us to seek counsel before we decide. How important it is to listen before we act.

Lord, help me to pause and listen to counsel before I act. Amen

tse horng blogged at 5:45 PM



Monday, May 02, 2005

long weekend

Thank God for long weekend. But still not long enough. :P

Saturday was spent looking after the kids while wife finally got her chance to enjoy "Sound of Music". Karis is able to say more words and she is calling pa pa as often as she wishes. I am so happy. :-D. Hanern is getting better too. Finally!

Sunday, after church, we visited my grandparents. Last week was their birthday dinner but since the kids were sick we could not be at their dinner. My grandma is suffering from arthritis, so she walks slowly. My son actually noticed and asked me. ANyway, my grandma is always the braver half. She can't read english but learn to read door close and door open in lift. She is able to travel around Singapore, MRT and bus. From Sengkang to Tampines. She will not allow her deficiency limit her. She will not let her pain stop her from going out to enjoy live. She will travel to other part just to eat her favourite food or to try new one. I admire her spirit. She was preparing to go for dinner. So she wanted to take her formal shoes and instead of asking the maid, she was climbing on the shelfs to get her shoes. She never take no. Anyway, there is something about her. She has a way in feeding children. My son ate fast and more when she feeds her, even it is not usual. Ha ha. She actually had dinner but cooked just for us. I love her.

May Day, we visited my parents and West Coast par; McDonald. My wife mothers' group, one of the children celebrated birthday there. Boring...

Well.. tomorrow start work again.

tse horng blogged at 11:26 PM



Here I am waiting
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing
For You
Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus
More and more

Come live in me
All my life
Take over
Come breathe in me
And I will rise
On eagle's wings
Eagle's Wings
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