On the eve of result release day, I got an email from an old friend. We had not contact each other since we left NIE, which was 1995.

He is now teaching in NIE and asked if I am keen to join him there. I didn't expect him to contact me and even more about being invited to consider NIE. It sure look attractive esp on the eve of result day. You know the stress that are linked with result and suddenly an offer to 'nirvana' out of this cycles.

Called him today to find out more and got to know that the term will start next year. That is to say it will not affect my responsibility in preparing 5B and 4EFG for their national exams. It now look even more attractive. Honestly, if they expect me to join them in July, I would turn it down. Can't leave 5B and 4EFG behind. He told me that if I miss this chance, I will have to wait for another 15 to 20 years, cos the next person to retire is in the 40 plus.

And to complicate thing, it is now NIE vs status quo vs one other possibility. Before that, it was status quo vs one other possibility.

I am struggling. If the offer came a few years ago, I would turn it down. I had been offered once and I wasn't keen then. Now, it is different. There are so many tasks that having time to reflect and ponder, to smell the flower, to counsel student etc seem so rushed. I wonder if I am able to do a good job in touching lives with all these rushes, projects, key performance indicators etc. I am trying to help others to help our students and yet I find I do not have the time or emotion to share moments with students. Not the superficial moments, but moments where soul meets soul.

God, help me to know your calling for my next phase. Speak to your servant. Amen.